Thank goodness for Wikipedia. It’s an essential resource when your TV station has made a commitment to devote much of its newscast to an unplanned, live event — yet your news team has run out of things to say about it.
This was the corner into which an otherwise-respectable Atlanta TV station backed itself when, one fine day in January during evening rush hour (and its evening two-hour block of news), a Vietnamese Pot-bellied pig was spotted alongside I-75 in Cobb County. A chase ensured. Helicopters and live trucks were dispatched. It was, in some quarters, a “wow” moment.
I didn’t see the station’s extended coverage. My friends who observed it say it went on for forty minutes and was a classic example of local TV news at its most overwrought.
My Suspicious Package parody is not intended to mimic any actual local TV news folk. The anchor voice is a generic basso profundo; the hairpiece is on loan from Big Mike, with thanks. The “field” material was shot by Richard Crabbe in the parking lot behind WXIA/WATL world headquarters.
I now realize that my follicular shortcomings have been the biggest hindrance to my quest to become a highly-paid local news anchor. Like many people, I find the male hairpiece to be mostly laughable.
But that’s a damned attractive news anchor.