“I wish I were smarter.”

Each Atlanta TV station posts short biographies of its news personnel on their web sites. The bios are usually filled with data about awards and college degrees. Some offer the occasionally-surprising nugget. We learn that WGCL’s Rebekkah Schramm has been a broadcaster since age 15. We learn that WSB’s Anissa Centers was a bone marrow donor. We learn that WSB’s Jeff Dore took out the trash at his first TV station and is the author of an unpublished novel.

Most bios are mind-numbingly similar. They tout the humble beginnings and family values of their subjects. They list resume highlights, awards and volunteer work. There are 42 of them on WSB’s site alone. We’ve perused a fraction of them.

Without question, the best bio we’ve seen is on Dana Fowle’s WAGA blog. Fowle writes “I’m generally disheveled and have a messy car… I also love red wine, rare steak, dark chocolate and strong coffee. I’m Type A, so of course, I wish I were smarter.” This is especially funny, given that Fowle is one of those scary-smart people.

The bio is the best part of Fowle’s blog. She hasn’t updated it in more than a month.

Dale Russell’s blog bio is a close second to that of Fowle, his I-team colleague: “My desk is a mess. I don’t smoke. I do drink. I have a politically incorrect sense of humor and a little problem with authority. (I’m working on that) And, I never get my expense reports in on time.”

Our least favorite bio belongs to WAGA’s Tom Haynes, which starts thusly: “Credibility, experience and a bit of an edge; that pretty much sums up Tom Haynes…” This is especially icky because it’s obvious Haynes wrote it himself. He goes on to tout his “journalistic expertise” and his position “front and center in FOX 5’s new, innovative and interactive newscast.” His bombast is almost Burgundyesque.

The journalistically-expert Haynes could learn a thing or two about humility from some of his colleagues.

3 thoughts on ““I wish I were smarter.”

  1. rptrcub

    I’ve loved the bios from the top-rated TV news outlet in metro Augusta (where I spent, unfortunately, four long years as a print reporter), the Death Star 2 equivalent, WRDW-TV (12). They all have the same “oh, how I love this town” paragraph that I swear to God is auto-generated, cuz I can’t believe that any fresh-out-of-college TV reporter would actually *like* the town before doing 1-2 year stints and leaving. I know. I used to drink with these people.

  2. Mrs. Otis

    I especially love the expertise in Tommy Boy’s punctuation:
    “Credibility, experience and a bit of an edge; that pretty much sums up Tom Haynes…”

    The poor semicolon is underutilized and underappreciated, but that’s because some people have no idea how to use it.

  3. SayeJibley

    Haynes seems like a jackass, although I haven’t met him. He’s like a parody of himself.


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