
"Get a new coat-- gosh!"
By Mrs. Live Apartment Fire
This week my spouse returns to the tube.
It’s taking some getting used to — thinking about him having to “make deadline” again.
Suddenly, all this stuff will return to my life:
* Folded up pieces of paper with the word “slug” and “timecode” clogging up the lint trap.
* My mother’s comments: “We just don’t see you two as often as we would like. I guess seeing my son-in-law on TV is just going to have to be good enough”.
*Turn on the nagging about grooming: Shave every day. Get a haircut. Trim the ear hair. They make those tiny hair clippers for a reason.
*People asking me about a story that they saw him do two days ago. Err… Did I watch that one? Probably not. I don’t watch this stuff unless I have to.
* Ironing board in use. Ties and slacks making a comeback by making their move to the front of the closet.
* Snowfall losing its charm.
* Crumpled up lunch receipts from “Eats” on the kitchen counter next to discarded pocket items: Cell phone, ID badge, earpiece, notepad, wallet, change, Sharpie, and a half sleeve of Mentos.
* Random people coming up to spouse at Sam’s Club: “Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere? Do you go to my church? You look familiar.”
* Christmas or Thanksgiving. You can’t have both.
* When it gets cold outside: Grandpa’s bitchin’ wool overcoat from the 60’s with Elvis Costello pin hiding under the lapel. Porkpie hat / glasses combo to signal that he’s annoyed by whatever story he’s covering.
* Car trunk full of tapes and legal pads.
* At the dinner table–
Me: “Oh my god, and then this happened at work and she said blah blah blah.. And then I said… And can you believe him? I mean what a load of crap right? Anyway— how was your day?”
Spouse: “Triple homicide. More black-eyed peas?”
Thanks for that, Jez. Be sure to check out the blog My Husband is Annoying, written by the wife of TV reporter-turned-blogger Mark Joyella (himself, the writer of the always-insightful Standup Kid’s Local Newser.) Thankfully, Mrs. Joyella dreamed it up before Mrs. LAF did! Both are in the blogroll to the right.
Good luck Mr. Fire,
Make Mr. Fire Jr. proud.
-Josh
At lest you now don’t have to think too much about what to get Doug for Christmas, birthday, etc. Just get him new ties so he can do his live shot with the microphone held slightly off center. 12 years ago, asked him once why he held the mic off to the right and he said, “If my kids go through the effort of buying me a $5 tie, I’m going to let all the viewers see it.”
Give no woman power over you to trample upon your dignity. (Sirach 9:2 NAB) …
LOL..this all sounds too familiar to me! Good luck to you guys and thanks so much for the blog love. Of course, Mrs. Live Apartment Fire is welcome to contribute to my blog anytime (’m sure there are some great stories to share…)!
http://www.myhusbandisannoying.com
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Nice hat!
I think having Mrs. Live Apartment Fire write more often would be good. A quick wit…and she can say things Mr. Live Apartment Fire can’t!
Behind every successful man is….a woman just like Mrs. LAF.
BTW, any bets on when LAF does his first live shot with an actual LAF on 11?