Thank goodness there are so many caring people who love TV. Without them, the denizens of newsrooms across America would surely wither and die.
Tuesday was an excellent example. As newsroom staff at WXIA were beginning to collapse from starvation — deprived, as they were, of nutrition due to their extraordinary hard work and their inability to spend even a moment away from their desks — salvation came in the form of a cake.
Actually, it was two cakes. One of them, the carrot cake, provided nutritious vegetable fiber and Vitamins A and C. The C vitamin was an especially timely addition to the newsroom diet, as a scurvy outbreak appeared imminent.
Likewise, the chocolate-on-chocolate cake delivered vitamins A and E, and minerals like potassium, zinc and paramecium. More importantly, cocoa has phenylethylamine, which is a natural anti-depressant. The staff at WXIA are extraordinarily well-adjusted and lack the suicidal tendencies often found in other newsrooms. This may be attributable to the regular appearances of chocolate cakes, cookies and candies on the table adjacent to the assignment desk.
Sadly, the field crews tend to have only scattershot access to these life-sustaining newsroom deliveries. However, their exposure to regular sunlight enhances their vitamin D intake, and wards off depressive bouts of Seasonal Affective Disorder. And their mental toughness is enhanced by regular exposure to crime scenes and slippery public information officers.
We heard that a place called the Marietta Diner provided these two nutritious confections. Perhaps the bakers there believed they were merely providing a sweet gratuity for folks who may or may not deliver a bit of media buzz for their business.
They provided much more.