Bonehead

Sunday, I broke my wrist.  I was doing yard work, breaking up some tree limbs, which DeKalb County’s sanitation workers had declined to fetch from an unruly curbside pile I’d made six weeks ago.

It's on the right, below that bump that sticks out on the right, leading to five or so fissures inside

It’s below that bump that sticks out on the right, leading to five or so fissures inside

I thought I found a brilliant shortcut that involved me swinging, like a baseball bat, a too-thick limb against a tree truck. Turns out, I really am an idiot.

I’m now wearing a cast, and typing this post with my left hand.  I can’t work this way.  I’m not just a TV news goon.  I’m a writer, dammit, of TV news copy, web copy and a trancriber of TV news interviews.  One who now hunts and pecks.

This tops a long list of things I can’t do with my right hand and forearm immobilized. I can’t

  • pick up heavy stuff
  • wash my hands
  • tie a necktie
  • wear a dress shirt
  • tie my shoelaces
  • wash my left armpit
  • shave, except shittily
  • sleep worth a damn

This list seems to expand by the hour.

I’ve purchased some transcription software called Dragon. If it works, I’ll be able to do my job.  I’ll be unclean, poorly dressed, have a bulgy right arm and will have sad, uneven whiskers viewable on HD.  But I’ll be able to commit acts of television– if it works.

This means my income stream will continue, allowing the option of doing something I should have done weeks or years ago:

Hire a guy to do my yard work.

 

 

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About live apt fire

Doug Richards is a reporter at WXIA-TV. This is his personal blog. WXIA-TV has nothing whatsoever to do with this blog, under any circumstances, in any form. For anything written herein, Doug accepts sole credit and full blame. Follow him on Twitter: @richardsdoug. All rights reserved. Thanks for visiting.

One thought on “Bonehead

  1. Jim Grey

    A long time ago I edited those Dummies books and one of my authors was David Pogue, who moved on to write for the New York Times and now Yahoo! In the middle of writing one book he blew out his wrist somehow. He bought Dragon and taught it what it needed to know and wrote everything using it for at least the rest of the time I was his editor. If he could do it in 1995, you can do it now!!

    Reply

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